The phone rang. Someone was hungry. "I need toilet paper!" Everything told me I was not supposed to iron. But as gas prices selfishly gauge us, leaving us scarred with injustice, I knew I needed to do my part to save money.
I lived in Taiwan once. There the average family rides around on a mere moped. The father drives. He has a child sitting in front of him, another child (possibly two) standing on the platform between him, (and the sitting child) and the handlebars, and the mother sits leisurely in the rear - holding the bags of groceries on her lap while a baby is strapped to her back. The first time I saw this, I stood with my mouth gaping and watched them go by like a circus freak show. Because there's no speed limit (that I was aware of) in Taiwan, cars literally speed past like the Indy 500. I never got over the frantic feeling of flight as I desperately tried to cross the street. I always felt as if I was dressed in a bright, green frog costume and was starring in the video game Frogger. If and when I did attempt "street crossing" and actually made it, I had to keep myself from bouncing around on the curb like Rocky Balboa when he finally won a fight.
So as I stood ironing, warm and sticky with the heat of the iron (imagining this must be what hot flashes feel like,) I fantasized about buying a moped. I could do it. I only had a 9 year old and a 4 year old to balance! If they could dive and flip and flop and leap from my couch and chairs in the family room like circus clowns, they could surely accomplish this small feat! I had no doubts they could even successfully hold the groceries during the ride home. With my mind spinning into the future, I began designing my moped. We could all have stylish helmets and could even have matching moped outfits and gear! But this of course, would deplete the original idea of trying to save money......
But I could clearly see this happening! Maybe just a small splurge for a bright pink t-shirt with "Moped Mama!" flashed across my chest. I could see it now,.... as we drove down country side roads, my girls' ponytails flying in the wind, our cheeks flushed from the sun and fresh air - children and dogs waving to us as we whizzed by,..........
"Mama! Haven has Mook locked in the bathroom and is trying to dress him in webkinz clothes!"
In a split second, my moped moment burst into a million pieces and fell around my feet. Once again, I was standing in my family room, slaving over a hot iron. As "Master Of All That Is Chaos," I began my new mission of rescuing my cat from the bathroom. I would hide him in my closet where he would be safe from the raging rebels for a half hour. (If he was lucky!)
Oh well,.... maybe someday I will have my zippy moped. One dime at a time. Today - it is ironing.
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